What Jesus was Really Like

An Excerpt from chapter 2 of Gary Renard’s The Disappearance of the Universe - Pursah speaks as her lifetime as Jesus' disciple Thomas; Arten as Thaddaeus

Pursah: J never cursed a tree and killed it, never got angry and knocked over the tables in the temple, but he did heal a few people who were already dead. Also, his body died on the cross, but he did not suffer as you would imagine. As for his way of being, mere words cannot do him justice. To be in his presence was an experience so unique it gave you a feeling of wonder. His peace and unalterable love were so total that sometimes people couldn't stand it and they had to look away. His attitude was so calm and sure it made you want to know how he did it. Those of us who spent a lot of time with him and, as in my case, got to speak in private with him, were inspired by his complete faith in God.

One of the ironic things - and this is something people don't understand - was that he considered himself to be totally dependent on God, yet this dependence was not weakness, as the world usually views dependence. Rather, the result was a state of unbelievable psychological strength. Things that would scare the stuffing out of strong people meant nothing to him, because they were nothing to him. Fear was not a part of him. His attitude was the same as if you were having a dream last night asleep in your bed, except you were totally aware of the fact that you were dreaming. And because you knew you were dreaming, you also knew that absolutely nothing in the dream could possibly hurt you, because none of it was true; you realized you were merely observing symbolic images, including people, who weren't really there.

J used to tell me when we were alone that the world was just an insignificant dream, but most people weren't ready to accept such an idea because their contrary experience was so strong. He then stressed that knowing the world is an illusion is not enough. The Gnostics and some early Christians called the world a dream; the Hindus call it maya and the Buddhists call it anicca, all meaning pretty much the same thing. But if you don't know the purpose of the dream and how to reinterpret the images you are seeing, then the general teaching that the world is an illusion is of very limited value. However, he also said the time would come when the Holy Spirit would teach people all things and that everyone would know only God is real. Sometimes at the end of a conversation with me he would just say, "God is," and walk away.

One of the other things about him that's rarely mentioned is that he had an excellent sense of humor. He was quite irreverent. He liked to laugh and bring out the joy in others.

Gary: And he was totally awake?

Arten: Yes, but let's be very clear about what we mean by that. We're not saying he was more awake in the dream, we're saying he had awakened from the dream. That's not just a minor distinction. Indeed, being more seemingly awake in the dream is what passes for enlightenment among very many, but that's not what we're teaching. You can teach a dog to be more alert and impressive and to live its so-called life to the fullest, and almost any human can be taught to raise his consciousness. You can always be taught to approach the dream with a clever thought pattern in an attempt to bring about something more, different or better. But our brother J was completely outside of the dream. He wasn't advocating a way of making your delusion better, or telling you how to strive for self-expression so you won't die with an unmet potential. Such exercises may temporarily make you feel better, but you're still building your house upon the sand.

J wouldn't be opposed to making your life better, but he would be more concerned with your Source of guidance that he would be about the guidance itself, because he knew the tremendous long-term benefits that being a true follower of the Holy Spirit could have for your mind. The real goal isn't dressing up you life; it's about awakening from what you think is your life! Then you're building your house upon the rock. J's message isn't about fixing up the world. When your body appears to die, what are you going to do with what you believe is the world? As far as the world is concerned, you can dress it up, but you can't take it anywhere.