Excerpt from The Disappearance of the Universe on A Course in Miracles study groups:
Gary discusses his forgiveness opportunity he had at his ACIM study group in Maine in the 1990s
In the weeks following this extraordinary learning encounter with Pursah, I noticed my increasingly negative reaction to a member of my study group. This guy, whom I regarded as a friend, was a very loud and aggressive speaker, and he often dominated the time spent discussing the Course at our meetings.
His knowledge of the Course was impressive; I don’t know if I’ve ever met someone not known publicly as a Course teacher who knew more about it than he did. The problem was, he used his technical knowledge of the Course to make himself right and others wrong – instead of using it to forgive. This is a pitfall the ego can employ to ensnare any intelligent Course student, resulting in an attitude that says, Look at me. I know so much more than you I must be very enlightened!
My friend’s behavior in the group drove home for me the fact that it’s not just what you know, it’s what you do with it. Indeed, just knowing how to forgive wouldn’t get me home if I didn’t really do it. And who could provide a better opportunity for applying my new knowledge than my friend, whose abrasive teaching style took up so much time at our meetings?
What could his loud pronouncements be but a call for love? And what was the surest way to experience love but by removing everything in the way of that love, via forgiveness? I considered the possibility that Pursah and the Course were right; as I watched and listened to my friend at our meetings, I tried to comprehend that he wasn’t really there. I was only dreaming, and he was a figure I had made up so I could identify him as the problem causing my lack of peace (i.e., my annoyance with him.) In my ego’s script he was the guilty one, not me – but now I could change my mind. It didn’t really matter if I got in touch with the form of my own guilt that he was symbolizing for me. All that mattered was that I forgive. The Holy Spirit would take care of the details.
Without separation, this guy couldn’t exist apart from me – and if our separation from God was an illusion, then neither one of us could possibly exist as individuals. What I was seeing wasn’t really there. I could now perceive innocence, or true perception, by having the attitude that he was entirely without guilt. I could forgive him for what wasn’t really happening. In that view, my own sins of which I covertly accused myself were also forgiven. I released my brother to the Holy Spirit in peace, and thus I was released as well.
I knew this episode was just one step; along the way ahead there would certainly be resistance to forgiving many more “difficult” people and unpleasant circumstances. Miracles were all the same to the Holy Spirit, but definitely not to the ego. I wouldn’t always want to look at my ego as projected onto others. Noticing that very resistance was an essential part of doing the Course.
In fact, forgiving myself when I didn’t do the Course very well was a major part of the process. My ego couldn’t be forgiven and undone without looking at it first – and how did it show up most dramatically except in the desire not to forgive? True, I had resistance, but also persistence. Sometimes it would take me a second, a minute, a half-hour or a day, but whenever I felt the pitchforks of judgment rising up within me, ready to condemn something or someone who appeared to be outside of me, I would always change my mind, forgive, and remember Who my brothers and sisters really were. Then, as it must certainly follow, I would remember Who I was.
Perhaps this is how an ordinary life can become a great one, without the world even knowing. For when I practiced true forgiveness, it didn’t really matter to me what the world thought it knew.
More from The Disappearance of the Universe on A Course in Miracles study groups:
Study groups are not mentioned at all in the Course; they should be viewed primarily as a social phenomenon. They are not always the best sources of information either, but if they are given to the Holy Spirit and used for forgiveness, then you can be certain He’ll be happy to participate with you.
Study groups are not about joining with individuals on the level of the world, but for the sake of forgiveness that becomes possible through the relationships and the examination of your own ego. In study groups, churches, or anywhere else in this world, it appears that there are multiple teachers and learners. But there is really only one Teacher of the Course – and only one student.
An excerpt from Dude, Where's My Jesus Fish? about study groups:
As far as I’m concerned, Course groups are not about the Course. Sitting around in a circle and taking turns reading from the Course book doesn’t do anything for me. In fact, it usually bores the hell out of me. If I want to spend two hours reading from the Course, well, I don’t need people to do that, I can just stay home and do that on my own. For me, Course groups are all about sharing experiences, being with people of like-mind and enjoying their company, and especially for practicing forgiveness on those whose company you don’t necessarily enjoy. (LOL)
For me, it’s not about seeing how many pages of the Course the group can plow through during any given session. Also, anybody new to Gary’s books and the Course should be studying it on their own, and not relying on people from Course groups to teach them. One reason for that being is that you are not likely to find total agreement on what the Course is saying amongst the people in the group, so you’ll just end up confused and thinking we’re all a bunch of idiots. But what I love about Gary’s books is that Arten and Pursah spell it all out for you on what the Course is really saying.
Giddy up!
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