The Unconscious Mind

YIR p 64 (Gary)
People think it’s the beliefs that they have in their conscious mind that runs them, and that they can control their mind by changing their thoughts from negative to positive ones. That’s not true when it comes to the big picture. It will only have a temporarily helpful impact. What really runs us are the beliefs we have that are unconscious to us, the things we can’t see. A Course in Miracles presents a way to actually heal and remove the things that are hidden in the deep canyons of the unconscious mind. Very few spiritual teachings do anything on that level.

DU p 159 (Pursah & Arten)
Your real life is in Heaven, but you can also achieve peace and joy during your temporary life here. Those are your motivations for quitting grievances. Sometimes those motivations won't seem like enough. What's going to happen is that when you try to forgive, sometimes you'll be able to. Yet if you're really trying to do the Course, then just as often you're going to come up against a lot of things that you don't want to forgive and you don't want to give up. That's how your resistance and your hidden, unconscious hatred shows up. Those are the things you're going to have to look at that you don't want to look at.

My Note: Two very potent Course quotes associated with this:

No one can escape from illusions unless he looks at them, for not looking is the
way they are protected. T p 202 (11:V:1:1)

To learn this course requires willingness to question every value that you hold. T p 499 (24:Intro:2:1)

Then, a DU quote to add to this as a follow up:

DU p 225 (Pursah)
The Holy Spirit knows your afraid of your unconscious. The purpose of the Course is peace, not to scare the hell out of you. The more prepared you are, and the better you do your forgiveness work, the less scary your journey with the Course will ultimately be.

God Is

A Course in Miracles and Forgiveness

ACIM T p 138
Knowledge is not the motivation for learning this course. Peace is. This is the prerequisite for knowledge only because those who are in conflict are not peaceful, and peace is the condition of knowledge because it is the condition of the Kingdom. Knowledge can be restored only when you meet its conditions.

DU p 109
The peace of God is the goal of the Course because it must be attained in order to regain the awareness of your reality in the Kingdom.

YIR p 139
It’s through your own choice for the Holy Spirit and His thought system instead of the ego’s that your mind is returned to peace. That has to happen first in order for you to go home. You can’t skip your forgiveness homework. Everybody wants to skip to the end and be enlightened now, but it doesn’t work that way. If peace is the condition of the Kingdom, then the mind must be at peace in order to fit in. And in order for the mind to be at peace, you have to forgive. It’s as simple as that.

DU p 147
Without its practical method of forgiveness, the Course would be nothing but a beautiful and useless book - fuel for debate and the games of the ego. Fortunately, as J says in the Introduction to the Clarification of Terms, p 77: This is not a course in philosophical speculation, nor is it concerned with precise terminology. It is concerned only with Atonement, or the correction of perception. The means of the Atonement is forgiveness.

What is Forgiveness? ACIM W p 401
Forgiveness recognizes what you thought your brother did to you has not occurred. It does not pardon sins and make them real. It sees there was no sin. And in that view are all your sins forgiven.

Forgiveness is the key to happiness. ACIM Lesson 121 W p 214
Here is the answer to your search for peace. Here is the key to meaning in a world that seems to make no sense. Here is the way to safety in apparent dangers that appear to threaten you at every turn, and bring uncertainty to all your hopes of ever finding quietness and peace. Here are all questions answered; here the end of all uncertainty ensured at last.

Forgiveness offers everything I want. ACIM Lesson 122 W p 217
What could you want forgiveness cannot give? Do you want peace? Forgiveness offers it. Do you want happiness, a quiet mind, a certainty of purpose, and a sense of worth and beauty that transcends the world? Do you want care and safety, and the warmth of sure protection always? Do you want a quietness that cannot be disturbed, a gentleness that never can be hurt, a deep abiding comfort, and a rest so perfect it can never be upset?

All this forgiveness offers and more. It sparkles on your eyes as you awake, and gives you joy with which to meet the day. It soothes your forehead while you sleep, and rest upon your eyelids so you see no dreams of fear and evil, malice and attack. And when you wake again, it offers you another day of happiness and peace. All this forgiveness offers you, and more.

DU p 343
We came here to give people a spiritual message, a message that not everyone is ready for yet, and this is it: When you are ready to accept that the only thing that really matters in your illusory lifetime is the successful completion of your lessons of true forgiveness, then you will be truly wise indeed.

DU p 221
True forgiveness is the real purpose of life, but you've got to choose it in order to make it yours. Remember, practicing real forgiveness can't help but lead you home.

YIR p 128
You can't wake up from a dream as long as you're stuck in it. Awareness of dreaming breaks the hold. And the more you forgive, the more you become aware that you're just dreaming.

Forgiveness is my function as the light of the world. ACIM Lesson 62 W p 104
It is your forgiveness that will bring the world of darkness to the light. It is your forgiveness that lets you recognize the light in which you see. Forgiveness is the demonstration that you are the light of the world. Through your forgiveness does the truth about yourself return to your memory. Therefore, in your forgiveness lies your salvation.

God is the Love in which I forgive. ACIM Lesson 46 W p 73
God does not forgive because He has never condemned. And there must be condemnation before forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is the great need of this world, but that is because it is a world of illusions. Those who forgive are thus releasing themselves from illusions, while those who withhold forgiveness are binding themselves to them. As you condemn only yourself, so do you forgive only yourself. Yet although God does not forgive, His Love is nevertheless the basis of forgiveness.

The words, Forgive(s), Forgiven, Forgiveness, Forgiving, and Forgivable show up in the Course a total of 842 times.

Forgive and let live.

True Perception

When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself. ~ACIM Text p 142 (8:III:4:1-5)

The key to enlightenment lies in a secret that very few people have ever known, but which J knew well. The way you will experience and feel about yourself is not determined by how other people look at and think about you. The way that you will experience and feel about yourself is actually determined by how you look at and think about them. Ultimately, this determines your identity. You will identify yourself either as a body or as perfect spirit, as either divided or whole, depending on how you see others. And once you understand that, I would think you'd want to get pretty damn careful how you think about other people! ~YIR p 17

Always remember that your state of mind and the resulting goal you will achieve are in your own hands, because there are really only two things you can do - judge as an expression of fear, or forgive as an expression of love. One perception leads to the peace of God and the other perception leads to war. As the Course teaches, 'You see the flesh or recognize the spirit. There is no compromise between the two. If one is real the other must be false, for what is real denies its opposite. There is no choice in vision but this one.' ~DU p 397,398

God Is

True Humility

Last weekend at Gary's workshop in Truckee, CA, he said something - which of course I already knew - but got on a deeper level. No such thing as too much repetition in hearing right-minded ideas, since it goes against the conservative thinking of the world. Anyway, most would think it is arrogant to say you are one with God. But the truth is, it is arrogant to think you can have an individual existence separate from God. So we're a bunch of arrogant bastids here! True humility is accepting being nothing less than God, which we are in reality - this, of course, isn't reality, but passes for it. Of course, I'm not here to deny our experience, but as Gary would say, 'it's a false experience.' Here are some quotes from DU in support of this idea, and I substituted "He" with "It" since God is really an It, so I wanted to be technically correct rather than sticking to the metaphorical language of the Course:

DU p 40,41 - (context - Believing God has anything to do with the universe of time and space) You've got to be willing to surrender the idea of Authorship to God if you want to be able to share in your real power. Humility is the way - not a false humility that says you are inadequate, but a real humility that simply says God is your only Source. You will realize that except for Its Love you need nothing, and he who needs nothing can be trusted with everything.

DU p 188 - The only real freedom you have is to choose to return to God by listening to the voice for It, instead of continuing indefinitely within a fixed system that has nothing to do with God. Your brain isn't hard wired to know God. Your mind tells your brain what to do! Be glad the universe and your brain have nothing to do with God, and that there's a way to return to Its universe.

DU p 9 - God did not create duality and did not create the world. If It did, It would be the author of 'a tale told by an idiot.' But God is not an idiot. God can only be one of two things. God is either perfect Love, as the Bible says when it momentarily stumble upon the truth, or It's an idiot. You can't have it both ways. J was no idiot either, because he wasn't taken in by the false universe.

DU p 30 - God, Which is actually real, seems distant and illusory. The world, which is actually illusory, seems immediate and real.

DU p 84 - You have often thought you had to try harder to be a more loving person, so you could exemplify the love of J. That's not true. If you really want to be perfect Love like him and God, then what you need to do is learn how to remove, with the Holy Spirit's help, the barriers that you have placed in between yourself and God. Then you will naturally and inevitable become aware of what you really are.

DU p 37 - The myth of living a perfect life in terms of behavior is self-defeating and unnecessary. All that is necessary is to be willing to receive correction.

In regards to our buddy J aka J-Dog:

DU p 294J had the kind of humility that said, 'God, I just want you.'

DU p 28,29 - J was a savior all right, but not the kind who promoted vicarious salvation. He wanted to teach us how to play our part in saving ourselves. When he said that he was the way, the truth, and the life, he meant we should follow his example, not believe in him personally. You shouldn't glorify his body. He didn't believe in his own body, why should you?

DU p 13 - It was never J's intention to start a religion. Whether then or now, the world needs another religion like it needs a bigger hole in the ozone layer.

DU p 73 - Conservative is not exactly the word you would use to describe J, who was the radical of radicals - not in temperament but in his teachings.

DU p 18 - One of the fundamental differences between the teachings of J and the teachings of the world is this: The teachings of the world are the product of a split, unconscious mind. Once you have that, you have compromise, and once you have compromise, you no longer have the truth.

DU p 49 - J considered himself to be totally dependent on God, yet this dependence was not weakness, as the world usually views dependence. Rather, the result was a state of unbelievable psychological strength. Things that would scare the stuffing out of strong people meant nothing to him, because they were nothing to him. Fear was not a part of him. His attitude was the same as if you were having a dream last night asleep in your bed, except you were totally aware of the fact that you were dreaming. And because you knew you were dreaming, you also knew that absolutely nothing in the dream could possibly hurt you, because none of it was true.

DU p 41 - When J made statements like, 'Of myself I can do nothing,' and 'I and the Father are on,' he wasn't claiming any kind of specialness for himself. In fact, he was giving up any specialness, individuality, or authorship and accepting his true strength - the power of God.

DU p 47 - J had forgiven the world - his mind had been returned to the Holy Spirit where it belonged. That's where your mind belongs. You took it, and you have to give it back. And I've got a message for you: You'll never really be happy until you do. No matter what you imagine you have accomplished in any lifetime, there will always be a part of you that feels like something is missing - because in your illusions something is missing.

DU p 98 - The J of the Course is not the same as the version of J in Christianity, and the two thought systems are not compatible. For Christianity, their suffering image of J the body is extra special. He is different than you in the sense that he alone is God's only begotten Son. But the J of the Course informs you that because you and he are one, then you are equally God's only begotten Son or Christ - not any different than him - and furthermore, you can eventually experience this.

DU p 53 - We're not saying there isn't some good in Christianity or that Christian people are not sometimes the salt of the earth. But their religion is a mixed bag, because the world that is a projection of the mind that made it is such a mixed bag. If the mind is going to be healed, then it needs something that is not a mixed bag.

From A Course in Miracles (1:VI:2:1) A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct.

So, the goal of all this to get in touch with the voice of your Higher Self, the Holy Spirit, and eventually get to the point where you and Its voice are one and the same.

Forget not to laugh, and have fun kids!

God Is

Mikey with Gary & Cindy, Truckee, CA 7-18-09

True Forgiveness

Quotes from Gary’s books on the topic of true forgiveness.

As Gary likes to say in his workshops, ‘Forgiveness isn’t easy, in fact, it sucks, because they don’t deserve it!’ Of course, we know he’s just being funny, and that we all have work to do – continuing to forgive the symbols of our own unconscious minds - the people, places, and things that piss us off and push our buttons, or just disturb our peace in the slightest, on any given day. So, here are some quotes from Gary’s two books on true forgiveness, to help us stay focused and motivated on that task at hand. Enjoy!


DU p 114
Remember, the kind of forgiveness J used and that His Course is teaching is not the same kind of forgiveness that Christianity and the world sometimes participate in. If it were, then it would be a waste of time. Christianity got J wrong.

DU p 245,246
The law of forgiveness is this: Fear binds the world, forgiveness sets it free. The world feels solid to you because fear binds it. It didn't feel solid to J because he had forgiven the world. That’s why the nails didn’t hurt J as they were being driven into his flesh. Being guiltless, his mind could not suffer - and someday you will attain the condition where you cannot suffer.

DU p 240
These are the components of forgiveness:
You remember that you're dreaming.
You forgive your projected images and yourself for dreaming them.
You trust the Holy Spirit and choose Its strength.

YIR 176
An additional component of forgiveness would be that after you forgive, if you feel some kind of action is required, then always ask the Holy Spirit if there's anything you should do. Remember, the Holy Spirit doesn't do anything in the world, ever. But It can inspire you as to what you should do.

YIR 43,44
The teachings of the Course are always applied at the level of the mind, and never at the level of form or the physical. That's why it's a course in cause and not effect. In your mind, you use right-minded ideas. Then sometimes after you forgive, you may feel you are being guided in some way by the Holy Spirit as to what you should do or not do. That's inspiration, which comes as an aftereffect of forgiveness.

DU p 218
Forgiveness isn't about being a do-gooder, not that there's anything wrong with doing good deeds if it turns you on. The Course is about being a right thinker. A lot of Christians ask nowadays, "What would Jesus do?" There's only one correct answer to that question, and it would always be the same. He'd forgive.

DU p 242
Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to give up anything on the level of form. Your psychological attachment to things is one of the ways your ego clings to the body and the world. That will need to be forgiven. It masks your unconscious resistance to the truth that there is no world. Like you, most people don't want to hear that their dreams and passions are really false idols - a substitute for God and Heaven. There's nothing wrong with your dream if you understand it and forgive it. Forgive - and then do what you and the Holy Spirit choose to. And have fun!

YIR p 26 (In response to Gary’ question about meditation)
Remember something: There is no substitute for practicing forgiveness, and that's the spiritual 'life in the fast lane' that our brother J was teaching by both word and example 2000 years ago.

DU p 343
We came here to give people a spiritual message, a message that not everyone is ready for yet, and this is it: When you are ready to accept that the only thing that really matters in your illusory lifetimes is the successful completion of your lessons of true forgiveness, then you will be truly wise indeed.

DU p 234
Forgiveness is where the rubber meets the road. Without forgiveness, metaphysics are useless. In the end, there are really only two things you can do. As the Course teaches: He who would not forgive must judge, for he must justify his failure to forgive.

DU p 218
It might help you to remember that you're the one whom forgiveness helps. You don't always have to care personally about the person you're forgiving. Your job is simply to correct your misperceptions, and it isn't against the rules to know that you can't help but benefit because of it.

YIR p 97,98
In regards to your special hate relationships, when you meet someone in this lifetime whom you've had dealings with before in other lifetimes, it's because you're orbiting each other, just as planets orbit the sun. In some lifetimes you'll be the victim, and in others, the victimizer. The question is, what are you going to use it for this time, freedom or bondage? Are you going to get that you are not a victim and take responsibility for dreaming, or are you going to make it real and stay stuck here?

YIR p 27
Repetition is important not just in learning right minded ideas, but in practicing forgiveness. Sometimes it may look like you're forgiving the same thing over and over again. You forgive the people you work with. Then you go back there the next day, and they're still there. But even if it looks like you're forgiving the same thing, that's an illusion too. What's really happening is that more unconscious guilt is coming to the surface of your mind, and it's a chance for you to release and be rid of it by continuing to forgive.

DU p 221, 222 & 232
The holy instant is simply that instant when you choose the Holy Spirit as your teacher instead of the ego. This happens anytime you choose forgiveness - thus acting in both you and your forgivee's best interest. Of course, the forgivee is really you; it just doesn't look that way. What you're really accomplishing is the forgiveness of the symbolic contents of your own mind. When you forgive others, it’s really you yourself who is being forgiven.

DU p 249,250
You’ve got to understand that if the Course is teaching there is no hierarchy of illusions, and if a miracle is a shift in perception where you switch over to the Holy Spirit’s script, then one miracle is no less important than another. So, it’s just as important to forgive a cold as it is to forgive a physical assault, and just as important to forgive a subtle insult as it is to forgive the death of a loved one. What is perceived as a tragedy can be forgiven just as quickly as you’re willing to recognize that the separation from God never occurred, so it’s only a dream and nobody’s guilty – including you.

DU p 215
The Holy Spirit knows that with the exception of forgiveness, it doesn’t matter what you do. The ego wants what you do to be important. As a way of intruding on your spirituality and delaying the truth, it tries to make what you do in the world important and special. Yet to the Holy Spirit, what you do for Him, or for Jesus or for God is not important. How can anything that occurs in an illusion be important if you actually understand it’s not real? Only forgiveness and your healing matter. True, that kind of a teaching may not be the basis for a popular religion that takes over the world and tells everybody else how they should be living their lives – but it is definitely the truth.

DU p 166, 167, & 193
The Atonement principle undoes denial and projection at the level of your mind by forgiving what you perceive, and the Holy Spirit undoes the denial and projection at the metaphysical level of your mind at the same time. You must practice forgiveness on the level where your experience is. Yes, you have to understand the metaphysics of the Course in order to understand what you’re doing. But your forgiveness is done here, which means you should be practical - and respectful of other people and their experience. In other words, when you're living your everyday life, be kind. Your job isn't to correct others. Just help the Holy Spirit clean up your wrong mind by switching to your right mind. When we say you should be kind to others, it doesn't mean you should be in denial about the ego thought system. But don't try to change others; change your own mind instead.

DU p 113, 114
The thought system of love and the thought system of fear are both forms of denial. One of them, the Holy Spirit's teaching, leads to Heaven by uncovering and reversing the ego's denial of the truth. As the Course says about the peace that results from the Holy Spirit's teaching: It denies the ability of anything not of God to affect you. This is the proper use of denial.

DU p 221
True forgiveness is the real purpose of life, but you’ve got to choose it in order to make it yours.



Mikey says:
When things aren't going well, or your peace of mind has been disturbed in any number of ways, remember what it's all for – it’s all for forgiveness. Eventually, you'll be able to laugh at anything that the world throws your way just as our buddy J-Dog could. Now, when things are going well, and you’re having a good time, then just enjoy it – celebrate - The Happy Dream! Have fun kids - Giddy up!

God Is

Update from Gary Renard

Update about third book from Gary

Hi Friends, I want to update you on the status of my third book, Love Has Forgotten No one, LHFNO.) My buddy and fellow podcast host, Gene Bogart, joked that I should re-name it, Love Has Still Forgotten No One. I'm going through the manuscript for what I think is the 5th time plus working on the ending. It's almost done but I can't give you a release date until I turn it in to Hay House, which has the first right to publish it. They will decide the release date. The book will become available no matter what, and when it does I'll be there to support it one hundred per cent as usual. Rogier Van Vlissingen has already translated the first half of the book into Dutch, and we're both on the same page that this is a very exciting project.

I want to emphasize that although my Teachers, Arten and Pursah, Guided me to have the book out much sooner, it was not their Guidance but my own inability to deliver that caused the delays. I apologize for those delays. Traveling the extreme way that I do can beat you up. I'm not complaining, just stating what appears to happen in the illusion. Delays happen (although I admit this one has been too long.) This is a bigger forgiveness lesson for me than it is for you. Still, I can't help but think of the times when Ken Wapnick, known as the Course's greatest scholar, would announce a publication date for one of his books in his Newsletter, "The Lighthouse," (especially in the late 90s) and it wouldn't come out until a long time later. Such is life. But I want to explain to you a couple of the reasons it happened in this case. There's more, which is personal, but the time I spend traveling plus the things below are the major factors.

I've been Guided through many corrections of minor mistakes (fortunately not major ones) in the book during the last year by A & P. This book is the first time they didn't permit me to tape record their conversations (as you'll see in the book.) This, combined with my schedule, made the writing of this book more difficult for me. I can see now that they did this to help me in my own personal development in regards to hearing them, not so much during our "in person" conversations, but in between them, without recordings, when they were not present in their seemingly physical bodies. The conversations in the books are given to me, but I write my narration, notes, and organize the material. This is what makes the books the story of my life.

A & P's Voices are actually the One Voice of the Holy Spirit, (see the end of The Disappearance of the Universe) and their approach and editing for this book was in keeping with their method of always helping me along my path at the fastest rate possible. My ability to hear The Voice has been aided by this project beyond comprehension. This will make the writing of future books faster and easier. You'll see that in LHFNO we also discuss the difference between people hearing the Holy Spirit's Voice filtered by their own ego, as opposed to hearing it purely..

When the book does come out, I hope you'll think it was worth the wait.. I'm very excited about it for many reasons, which I trust you'll see.. Also, I'm adjusting my traveling schedule to permit me to fulfill Arten and Pursah's Guidance that I do a book every year. That may seem extreme, but it is possible. And that doesn't mean I won't be traveling and speaking a lot, but I sense there are just as many surprises coming up for all of us in that area as there are in the next book.

There were personal stories that needed to be told, and they all fit together like a hologram. The book tells all about my relationship with Karen, my former wife (with her permission and support) and the story of Cindy and I (BTW, thanks for all of your kind congratulations on our upcoming marriage) and how the lifetimes of Thomas and Thaddaeus, Cindy and I, and Arten and Pursah all fit together in what A Course in Miracles describes as, "An interlocking chain of forgiveness."

I hope you'll be a little more patient, enjoy other things in the meantime such as my CD, "Fearless Love", the movie I'm in, "Leap!" my DVDs, teleconferences, etc. I'll give you a final date for the book release, but only when I'm certain about what it is. Thanks for all of your support and friendship.

Love, Gary

Be Passersby

From The Disappearance of the Universe p 79:
The saying in the Gospel of Thomas, 'Be passersby,' is about not being mentally attached to things. It has nothing to do with physically giving up anything. If you believe that you have to give something up, then you are making it just as real as if you covet it.

My Note: I would add that it's not only about not being attached to things, but as well as to people, places, events, outcomes, others' behavior and so forth. All these attachments and expectations are things we all need to forgive. Otherwise, we are giving our power away by allowing outside influences to rule our minds, which keeps ourselves psychologically vulnerable when things do not appear to go our way. Of course, there's nothing wrong with having these things and having them work out for us while we appear to be here, but if you need them in order to feel happy and at peace, then the happiness and peace that they will seemingly bring will be only transitory at best, as they are all just symbolic of our one and only lack, and just acting as an inferior substitute. As the Course says:

A sense of separation from God is the only lack you really need correct.

Of course, it's all so simple. But no one ever said it was easy. And Mikey must have his high speed internet, iPod, and organic dark chocolate with almonds, damn it!!! Giddy up!

God Is

My Favorite Definitive Statement in ACIM

I recently posted this as a 'Note' on my Facebook page. To say the least, it went over about as well as a 'fart in an elevator' based on the comments written by an old high school buddy who is now a born-again Christian. I know this is a radical idea, and one would have to read, and understand, A Course in Miracles and/or Gary Renard's books to even have a chance at grasping this concept, as this idea is very threatening to the ego since the statement means the end of individual existence. Because in reality, there are no individuals, just total oneness with God. If you're interested in reading the comments, you'll have to add me as a friend on Facebook in order to view them. Anyway, here's the note I wrote:

ACIM Workbook Lesson 132 (6:2-3)
There is no world! This is the central thought the Course attempts to teach.

Supplemental Material related to this idea:

DU p 9:
Gary: The Bible says that God created the world, and most everybody believes He did, not to mention all the world's religions. My friends and I think that God produced the world so He could know Himself experientially, which I guess is a pretty common New Age belief. Didn't God create polarity, duality, and all of the opposites in this world of subject and object.

Pursah: In a word, no. God did not create duality and He did not create the world. If he did, He would be the author of 'a tale told by an idiot,' to borrow Shakespeare's description of life. But God is not an idiot. He can only be one of two things. He is either perfect Love, as the Bible says when it momentarily stumbles upon the truth, or He's an idiot. You can't have it both ways.

DU p 223:
Gary: Some Course students seem to think God created the good parts of the world and not the bad, and that the Course is trying to get us to give up our bad perceptions, but keep the good ones.

Arten: Let's be very clear; God did not even create part of the world. The Course says ' There is no world!' How could God have created part of it if there isn't any? It's not the Holy Spirit's intention to do anything except wake you up from your dream that there is a world!

DU p 125:
Arten: God could not have created this world. It would not be in His nature. He is not cruel, and as J points out to you:
If this were the real world, God would be cruel. For no Father could subject His children to this as the price of salvation and be loving.

Our experience here is an 'optical delusion of our consciousness.' ~Albert Einstein

Just like the movies, it may not be real, but doesn't mean you can't enjoy the show - saddle up and ride!

Be Passersby.

God Is

ACIM Shindig - San Francisco, CA 2009

ACIM Conference 2009 – San Francisco, CA Feb 27, 28, & Mar 1
Hoiday Inn – Van Ness Ave

Update 3-11-09:
After rereading what I wrote here in this blog entry several days after I had posted it, it occurred to me that there are some things I say here that may be perceived as me being obnoxious, self-righteous, and/or arrogant. That certainly wasn't my intention when I wrote this.

I have the utmost respect for the material presented in A Course in Miracles, and am very adamant about not comprising on the integrity of its message (even though I don't really work with the Course directly.) But that's the reason why Gary's teachers appeared to him in the first place, to set the record straight, as the message of the Course was being diluted and watered down. It is my intention to do my part to help keep the real message of the Course, in tact. I get very passionate and excited when talking and writing about this stuff, as it is very near and dear to my heart. So please keep in that mind if something I write rubs you the wrong way, and most importantly, remember what it's all for. Enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Back in the Fall of 2007 when the announcement was made for this event, I had put down my $100 deposit in order to lock into the discounted rate in case I decided to go to this, when time drew nearer. In the Fall of 2008, I was quite certain I was not going to go, as I wasn’t feeling strongly about it, and didn’t think it would be worth my while to do so considering hotel fees, travel and parking fees, not to mention the rest of the money for the conference itself.

However, all that changed when my Course buddy Bruce Rawles, (who I like to call Bruce Almighty just for kicks) who lives about thirty minutes from me in Eagle Point, OR, told me he was going to go to the conference and stay at his mother’s house in Livermore, about forty-five miles outside of San Francisco, and commute to the conference via the BART, and that I was welcomed to join him. So, I paid the reminder of the conference fees by the end of December, and took Bruce up on his (and his mother’s) generous offer.

So the theme of this conference was called ‘A Blessing from the Abundance of our Grandeur.’ Don’t ask me what that’s supposed to mean, to borrow a line from Gary in DU, ‘I have not a freakin’ idea!’ If it were up to me, it would have been called something a little more radical such as, ‘There is no world, after all!’ Anyway, I’ll write out a day by day blow, from my perspective, including the schedule of speakers and events, as listed on the program (without the details of each speaker’s topic summary.)

Friday February 27th

12 – 4 PM Registration

4 – 4:30 PM Blessing & Song Rev.Tony Ponticello & Rev. Larry Bedini

4:30 – 5;45 PM David Fishman & Regina Dawn Akers

6:00 – 7:15 PM Breakout groups - 5 Concurrent presentations:
• Rev.Deborah & Rev.Paul Phelps
• Candace & DavidPaul Doyle
• Tom Whitmore & Carmen Cameron
• D Patrick Miller
• Carol Howe

7:30 – 8:45 PM Dinner

9:00 – 10:15 PM Breakout groups – 4 concurrent presentations
• Earl Purdy
• John Nagy
• David Hoffmeister
• Martha Lucia Espinosa

So, Bruce and I left in the early morning, with him picking me up from my home in Ashland at around 7am. The first few hours of the ride were spent with me reading out loud my hand-written Gary cards, with Bruce and I engaging in deep discussion on pretty much each one. A few hours into the drive, however, shortly after we passed Redding, we picked up a nail and wound up with a flat tire. So, we got out of the car, and Bruce changed the tire. I watched. It was done in fifteen minutes, and then it took an additional fifteen minutes to fill it up with air. A female cop pulled over onto the shoulder behind us to make sure we were all good - we were. So, after the tire was filled with air, we got back on the freeway, doing about 50 MPH since the spare tire recommended not to go any faster than that.

Bruce had mapped-out a Costco in Fairfield ahead of time to get gas, so we spent the next three hours doing fifty until we got there. It just so happens that Bruce had recently bought new tires from a Costco, so when we got there, he was able to get his tire replaced, for almost free, just paying the difference on the tread that had been used. Bruce was happy about that.

So, by the time we got to the BART station in Pleasanton, and the train ride to the Civic Center stop in San Fran, followed by the twenty minute plus walk to the Holiday Inn for the conference, it was 5 pm. The conference started at 4 pm.

So we walked into the hotel lobby and got ourselves registered. Bruce went into the room where the current speakers were speaking. I was just glad we hadn’t missed Gary, who wasn’t scheduled to speak until the next day. Anyway, with me being a vegan and into organic foods and all that, I’m very particular about my food, (perhaps even to the point of it being a false-idol,) I headed over to the Whole Foods Market. I never leave it to chance when it comes to food, so I always bring my own wherever I go. Whenever I travel, I always do my research on-line ahead of time of where the nearest health food stores in the town I’m visiting are. Fortunately for me, there was a Whole Foods Market just a hop, skip, and a jump from the hotel, so I was very pleased about that. So I walked over there to get my food for dinner, since I didn’t feel like going to the presentation.

When I came back to the hotel lobby, the presentation had just ended. There were over four hundred people attending this event, and most of them had just filtered out of the room, but I didn’t see Bruce come out. So, I walked in the room and Bruce was talking to a woman in there. So I approached them, and Bruce introduced me to Cindy, who is Gary’s girlfriend, who I presumed to be this lifetime’s Arten, as well as who Gary refers to as ‘mystery woman’ on his podcasts, but I wasn't about to pry.

So, Gary came over and suggested we carry on our conversation in the lobby since a new presentation was about to start in that room. So we were chatting in the lobby, and then I noticed Gary’s t-shirt. It was black, and it had the word ‘Jesus’ on it. But the rest of it was covered up until he moved his arm. Then I saw a cartoon picture of Jesus with the word ‘Saves.’ I made a comment, and then lifted up my sweatshirt. ‘Coincidently,’ I just so happened to be wearing my black t-shirt that reads ‘Beavis Saves,’ with a picture of Beavis as an angel. Gary and Cindy really dug the shirt, and all four of us got a kick out of the synchronicity of it all. Speaking of pictures, I should have asked Bruce to take a picture of Gary and I wearing our respective SAVES t-shirts, but I wasn’t really thinking. I had already had a picture with Gary with us wearing matching Masshole t-shirts together when he came here to Southern Oregon last summer. So getting a picture of us together wasn’t a priority going into the conference so it wasn’t in the back of my mind, though I did have my camera on me, oh well.

So, after a few more minutes of conversation, I mentioned to Gary that I’ve been posting a Quote of the Day over on the DU Yahoo group, and he said that he noticed and thanked me for doing that – to help people keep focused. Anyway, Gary and Cindy had to split but they suggested we eat at the same table with them at some point during the weekend.

So Bruce and I decided to hit one of the five presentations going on at that moment. We decided to attend the DavidPaul and Candace one since they too are residents of Southern Oregon, actually they live in the same town as me, but I’ve never met them. We walked in about twenty minutes late, and stayed until the end of it. But I pretty much daydreamed through the entire presentation while sipping my Ginger Brew– no offense to the presenters – I just had my mind on other things. So after that was over, it was dinner time.

Lunch, Dinner, and Sunday morning brunch buffets were included in the conference fees. But as mentioned earlier, I always have my own agenda when it comes to food. But I stood in the long line anyway talking with Bruce, as well as mingling with new acquaintances, which is rare for me because I’m not someone who has a lot to say, in the conventional 'world' anyway. At one point, Bruce was speaking briefly with D Patrick Miller (Gary’s original publisher) but I didn’t realize who it was until he walked by me. When he did, we kind of looked at each other and I said, “D Patrick Miller?’ He said yes and we shook hands. I then went on to say that I am big Gary Renard fan and before I got to finish my sentence he moved on to the next person. I guess I could have been offended by that, but I wasn’t. Actually, I thought it was pretty funny. Anyway, the rest of the sentence that he did not hear was, ‘….thank you for publishing Gary’s book.’ But he probably just wanted to chat with somebody who was interested in his own writing, not Gary’s. I don’t blame him.

So anyway, after getting through the buffet line, Bruce spotted the table that Gary and Cindy were sitting at, and there were a couple of empty places, so we joined them. Gary’s booking agent, Jan Cook, was also sitting at this table. There were also some other people at this table, including two people from West Virginia who I would have conversations with throughout the weekend. They seemed very familiar to me, which would be a theme throughout the weekend – meeting people I supposedly never met, yet feeling like I was part of a family reunion. Nice feeling!

Oh, another interesting conversation took place at this time in regards to Gary’s speaking schedule. He was supposed to be hitting Australia during the month of April, however, that got pushed back until November so Jan told Bruce that he’s open to coming up to Ashland in April. Right now, Bruce and I are researching venues here in Ashland in order to have Gary come do a workshop on April 25th. Giddy up!

So, after dinner, Bruce and I went to Lucia’s presentation titled, ‘From Scarcity to ABUNDANCE – How to Get Everything in Exchange for Nothing.’ It was a nice presentation, and I got a kick out of her Spanish accent being mixed in with a little bit of a Southern accent. Cute. Anyway, I didn’t get a chance to introduce myself to her after the presentation (she’s my friend on Facebook though) as Bruce and I were engaged in an extended conversation with a young Asian woman who was sitting behind me during the presentation. By the time we were done talking, Lucia had already left the room. So, I never got my Spoken Miracles book signed by her. I did, however, do a review of her book over on Amazon a while back, Mike's Amazon Reviews

So now it was after 10:30, and it was time to catch the BART. We got to Bruce’s mom’s place around midnight, and end up talking with her for about an hour before we went to bed. I was so wired from the fun interactions I had all evening that it took me well over an hour to fall asleep. Then I woke up around 5:15, and since I was to get up at 6, I just decided to stay up, so I ended up with about three hours of sleep. I did some yoga stretches, and then jumped in the shower.

Saturday February 28th

8:45 – 10:00 Breakout groups – 4 concurrent presentations
• Tom Carpenter & Linda Carpenter
• Jon Mundy Ph.D.
• Lyn Corona & Edward Duhaime
• Ian Patrick

10:15 – 10:30 ‘Abundance’ & Song

10;30 – 11:45 Gary Renard

12:00 – 1:15 Lunch

1;30 – 2:45 Breakout groups – 5 Concurrent presentations
• Nouk Sanchez & Tomas Vierira
• Sandy Levey-Lunden
• Carol Howe
• Tom Whitmore & Carmen Cameron
• Mary Gerard Lenihan

3:00 – 4:15 Breakout groups – 5 concurrent presentations
• Candace & DavidPaul Doyle
• David Hoffmeister
• Ian Patrick
• Earl Purdy
• Rev. Deborah & Rev Paul Phelps

4:30 – 4:45 Grandeur & Song

4;45 – 6:00 Rev.Robert & Mary Stoelting

6;15 – 7:30 Dinner

7:45 – 9:00 4 Breakout groups – 4 concurrent presentations
• John Mundy
• D Patrick Miller
• John Nagy
• Lyn Corona & Edward Duhaime

9:15 – 11:15 Dance

So Bruce and I were out the door at about 6:45 AM, and arrived just in time for the morning presentations. I wasn’t up for sitting through any of the presentations, so I decided to walk around the city with my iPod in tow, listening to Enya. Bruce attended the Carpenters presentation. I have the Carpenter’s book, Dialogue on Awakening, but I have never read it. I’ve skimmed through it several times but it has just never jumped out at me.

So I just spent part of the morning walking up California Street – the residential part of it. I was noticing that there were these gingerroot looking trees that I don’t recall ever seeing anywhere before. Anyway, I made it back in time for Gary’ presentation, of course. And I didn’t feel like sitting down, so I just stood in the back of the room for the entire 75 minute lecture. As Gary’s podcast buddy Gene Bogart said on a recent podcast about what you get at Gary’s presentations, ‘Just the raw truth mixed in with a few jokes!’ Well, this was certainly no exception.

Actually, we got more than a few jokes; Gary cracked many of them. Anybody who has been to a Gary workshop knows what these are: The 3 nuns trying to get into Heaven; The extra ticket to the World Series at Fenway Park; The Pope being called Elvis; The Daily Chicken; The drunk Jesus and Judas; The Talking Dog; The grocery store. There may have been more, but that’s all I remember at this time. Gary started his lecture by saying, “Hi, I’m Gary, and I’m a recovering jerk!’ Aside from his jokes, Gary spoke about the Course, as well as his recent divorce process. It all ended with a very deserving standing ovation. When it comes to the Course, he’s the freakin’ man! I say deserving because he tells it like it is while being a wicked funny bastid! (Incorrect spelling on purpose to reflect Masshole language!)

Oh, before Gary’s presentation, I got to speak to him again for a few minutes in the lobby. I told Gary that he’s the only reason why I came to the conference (as far as speakers go.) I went on further to say that I am a ‘Gary Renard junkie,’ always reading and listening to his stuff, and that Disappearance is my favorite book, ever, with Your Immortal Reality as #1B, and that there is no close 2nd, including the Course itself. I told him it’s Arten and Pursah’s words that keep me focused, motivated, and inspired, (although J-Dog is the one I converse with regularly in my mind.) From my experience, you don't necessarily need the Course in order to do the Course. As Gary's teachers say on p 108 in DU, 'The truth is an awareness - not a book.' Arten and Pursah spell it all out very well. But, that's what works for me. Actually, my mom is in that same boat too. So anyway, I just thanked Gary for putting himself, as well as his material, out there.

So after Gary’s presentation, it was lunch time. We spent part of the time at one table, and then eventually migrated to another table where Gary and his adopted family were sitting (Cindy and her mother.) While conversing, the subject of dogs got brought up, and I end up mentioning that when I was in Catholic school, the nun used to tell the class that dogs don’t get mad, they get angry. I had no idea what she meant by that, until I asked my dad one time, and he told me that it was because if you spell out ‘mad dog’ backwards, it reads ‘god dam.’ So they got a chuckle out of that. Anyway, it was time for the next slew of presentations, and it was a nice day, and I just didn’t feel like sitting around listening to somebody who wasn’t Gary tell me about A Course in Miracles, so I hopped on a cable car around the corner from the hotel. Bruce, Gary, and the rest of the people at the table went to Nouk and Thomas’ presentation where they were all given a whoopee cushion. Bruce snagged an extra one for me.

So, meanwhile, I got off on the last stop of the cable car at the end of California Street, walked around some, on a mission to find some bandanas, with again, my iPod in tow, listening to a mix of Gary’s stuff as well as some Metallica. The reason I was looking for bandanas was because there was to be a dance at the hotel that night, and Mikey doesn’t dance without wearing a bandana, and without having another one in hand. There was no mention of a dance on the email correspondence with Community Miracles Center beforehand, otherwise, I would have packed some.

So, Mikey needed to find some bandanas. I found an area where people were selling t-shirts, jewelry, art, and what have you, but came up empty on finding bandanas. So I turned around, and started making my way up hill on California Street, passing through the financial district, then turning off into Chinatown. Anyway, I spent close to two hours there going in and out of stores – but still found no bandanas, although I did buy myself a nice denim shirt that said ‘San Francisco’ on it. As a side note, Chinatown in San Francisco is huge, it seemed never ending. The one in Boston is practically non-existent in comparison.

So once I was done with Chinatown, instead of getting back on the cable car, I just hiked up the hill all the way back to the hotel. Right around the corner from the hotel, I found a gift store that just so happened to carry bandanas, yay! Mission accomplished! I bought a few.

Well, one of the highlights of the conference for me was definitely the dance. A pretty decent set list of music was played, including some of my favorite dance jams: You Shook Me All Night Long, Play That Funky Music, The Superfreak, Love Shack, and Mony Mony. There were probably at least a hundred people or so on and around the dance floor.

I used to dance (Ecstatic) regularly on Sunday mornings here in Ashland my first year and a half or so upon moving here, and now just go from time to time. So it was very fun to get out there dancing again, especially since it was with an entire different cast of people who weren’t accustomed to my whacko dancin’ style - hoppin’, skippin’, and jumpin’ around like a little kid. At the Ecstatic Dance, some people love me for the energy I bring to the dance, but for others I’m quite certain I'm there opportunity to practice forgiveness, although they probably don’t realize that, since I don’t believe any of them are Course students. Well, either way you slice it, I’m there only to be truly helpful! So I would imagine that it was the same case here – although Course people are supposed to know that they are supposed to forgive me. Anyway, Mikey’s gotta do what Mikey’s gotta do, and Jimmy cracked corn, and I don't care!

So I did my typical weaving in and out of dance traffic, busted some funny lookin’ dance moves - with head bangin’ and skinny white but shakin’, and of course my little ritual of using my bandana as a fan to cool people off as I make my rounds around the dance floor. Also, I had a couple of people I hadn’t even conversed with up until that point, stop me to have their picture taken with me, funny!

So, I had a surprising amount of energy considering that I had only got 3 hours of sleep the night before; also, I had done about 6 – 8 miles worth of walking (including up some steep hills) earlier in the day, and the fact that I had indulged in food just a couple hours prior to that so I was pretty full. Just further evidence that the mind is in control of the body, as I was just running on adrenalin from being in a state of bliss.

So, shortly after the dance, Bruce and I did our mile plus walk to the BART station, and got back to his mom’s around 1 am. I got 4 hours of sleep this time. Yay!

Sunday March 1st
8:45 – 10 Breakout groups – 5 concurrent presentations
• Mary Gerard Lenihan
• Tom Carpenter & Linda Carpenter
• Martha Lucia Espoinosa
• Sandy Levey-Luden
• Nouk Sanchez & Tomas Vierira

10:15 – 11:30 Sunday Service

11;30 – 12:45 Brunch

So, coming off of a total of seven hours of sleep in the last two nights, and with my calves feeling like they had been run over by a truck, I decided to just hang out in the hotel lobby, while reading through my Gary cards. We were a little late for the start of the morning day because the BART trains don’t run as as early on Sunday mornings. But it was absolutely wonderful just hanging out in the lobby– had some wonderful conversations with several people who stopped by, including two women who I was already friends with on Facebook (from New Hampshire and British Columbia) prior to the event. Several others stopped by just to say that they had a lot of fun at the dance the night before.

So before I knew it, it was time for brunch, which ended at 12:45, but our table of five or six of us were engaged in deep conversation until about 2. But it was time for Bruce and I to hit the road, as much as we would have loved to hang around longer.

Well, this was something I certainly needed - to get out of town for a little bit and be in a big city, and meeting some new people – as I had been feeling very restless and stagnant for several months prior to the event. But, I totally forgot about that all that this past weekend - fun!

So, I only attended three of the presentations all weekend, two of which, admittedly, I wasn't totally present with. But I didn't go for the presentations so it's all good. For me personally, I just didn’t feel a need, nor felt very really drawn, to attending any of them. I mean, I’ve got Arten and Pursah’s uncompromising, inspiring bluntness, bad ass Gary with his ‘dirty’ jokes, conversations with J-Dog going on in my head, and most importantly, my abundant willingness to do this work. I’ve already done the spiritual buffet line, and have no intention, nor desire, of doing A Course in Miracles version of the buffet line. A buffet line is certainly alright in the short term in order to develop a spiritual background, however, in the long run, you just end up becoming 'a jack of all trades but a master of none.' And the goal of the Course is to achieve full mental mastery. I know what Arten and Pursah say is the truth, and there isn't one thing I disagree with them on, so anything in addition to that, for me, would be superfluous.

So what else do I really need? As far as I’m concerned - and I say this with all humility - but I have the same level of understanding of the Course as Gary does, and for me to sit there listening to someone who may be potentially sugarcoating it or watering it down, or making it more complicated than it has to be, wouldn't be the best use of my time. Because once you have all that, you have compromise, and once you have compromise, you no longer have A Course in Miracles. With all that said, however, I am by no means claiming to have mastered the art of true forgiveness; I'm still a work in progress on that and that's why I keep taking in Gary's stuff over and over again, in order to keep me focused and motivated on the task at hand.

Anyway, it was great for me to go because I met some really wonderful people whom I've felt I've known before. Very nice! Also, it was an excuse to get to San Francisco, since I hadn't made it there in the nearly five years since moving out to the west coast. It was about time!

God Is

Update: My Tidings Article

So, after about six weeks since I wrote my article for the Ashland Daily Tidings, it was printed today. I wasn't too crazy about the little bit of editing they did, nor about the title they gave it, God is Explained, but not bad overall. The reason I didn't care for the title is because my article doesn't really explain God, so I find it to be a bit misleading, although the resources I reference certainly do explain God. Although, the title they gave it on the hard copy version of my article was called, Healing the Subconscious Mind, which makes a lot more sense considering what I wrote. Here's the link:
Mike's Tidings Article

God Is

My Tidings Article

Mike's article for the Ashland Daily Tidngs


Recently, I was asked to submit an article to our local newspaper, the Ashland Daily Tidings, to be among others for a weekly series of articles from various viewpoints on the topic of Inner Peace. I was asked to write about Gary's stuff, but of course that goes hand in hand with A Course in Miracles, so that naturally gets brought in too. Anyway, I had a seven hundred word limit, so I was quite limited on what I could say; so, I gave just a general overview of what Gary's stuff is all about, and didn't get into any of the 'far out' concepts of this spiritual path like God having nothing to do with the making of the world or universe, how anger is never justified, nor about the illusory, dream-like nature of what most folks refer to as reality. So, I just emphasized the more relatable aspects of this path, mainly the practice of forgiveness and taking responsibility for your life, albeit, at a much higher level than what most people commonly think of as taking responsibility for one's life. So, the series is supposed to start on Saturday, January 31st, and run every Saturday thereafter. I don't know when, or if, my article will get published in the paper.

Before we get to the article, I'd like to quote what Gary's teachers say on page 390 in Disappearance, in regards to this spiritual path:

The most striking evidence of this approach's validity will be that it works.

From my experience, I can tell you that it does work. It does, however, take a little while to develope faith and trust in it, but then when you start noticing results, it encourages and inspires you to keep going. Anyway, here's the article I wrote:

Of all the books I've read during my many years of feasting in the 'spiritual buffet line,' nothing has explained the truth about God and our existence, and why we are seemingly here, any clearer to me, than Gary Renard’s The Disappearance of the Universe.

Disappearance addresses heavy subject matter, while cutting to the chase in no uncertain terms, and doing so in a very entertaining and humorous fashion. I highly recommend it, though it is not intended for the squeamish nor the faint of heart, as the material is not sugarcoated.

Forgiveness is the theme in the spiritual path presented in Disappearance. The book is written in a dialogue format, with Gary being the student. His teachers in the book tell us, ‘Forgiveness is where the rubber meets the road. Without forgiveness, metaphysics are useless.' Of course, they are talking about forgiveness in the quantum sense, rather than what traditionally passes as forgiveness in this world.

Disappearance is the unofficial ‘cliff notes’ to A Course in Miracles. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual, purely non-dualistic, self-study course, often referred to in Disappearance. As quoted from Disappearance, 'The Course is Jesus speaking as an artist correcting the Bible which was allegedly based on his teachings.'

Written in Shakespearean blank verse and loaded with subtly humorous rhetorical questions, the Course is Jesus' teachings the way, I believe, they were intended to be - consistent and uncompromising, all about love and forgiveness, and absolutely nothing to do with sin, fear, guilt, sacrifice, and showing up to church on Sunday. As the Course states, '...those who seek controversy will find it. Yet those who seek clarification will find it as well.'

The Course is all about the healing of the subconscious mind, which entails looking at your illusions, examining them, and eventually releasing them through a process called true forgiveness. As it states in the Course, 'No one can escape from illusions unless he looks at them, for not looking is the way they are protected.'

The Course gives you the practical tools necessary in order to attain the objective of lasting inner peace and happiness regardless of what is going in the world and with your own personal life’s circumstances. Through the application of true, or quantum forgiveness, you’re taking full responsibility for your life’s experiences, including the experiences that are not seemingly your fault, because on the level of the subconscious mind, you made it all up. With quantum forgiveness, you’re not forgiving people because they really did something, you’re forgiving them because they haven’t really done anything. Whatever pushes your buttons and ticks you off on any given day is symbolic of what is in your own unconscious mind. Once you really get that the world is not being done to you, but rather by you, then what you are really doing by practicing true forgiveness is forgiving yourself for making the whole mess up in the first place; it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase, ‘There are no victims in this world!’

Though the Course is presented in Christian terminology, it is very Eastern in its theology and practice, as it gets in touch with the power of the mind. I don't recommend taking it on without having read Disappearance first, as it will save you much time while helping you to really grasp the heart of the Course.

In the end, all spiritual paths lead to God, however, the Course does imply that this is a faster way. The Course is simple, however, it’s not easy, as we all have this thing called the ego, and it would much rather you be right, than be happy and at peace. So, sticking to this path requires discipline, vigilance, and the willingness to question every value that you hold. With that said, however, it’s not about giving anything up; it’s about letting go of psychological attachment, and forgetting not to laugh.

Mike Lemieux lives in Ashland and writes a blog called The Disappearance of the Universe, based on Gary Renard’s material and A Course in Miracles.

To read excerpts of Disappearance, visit: www.garyrenard.com/Preview.htm

God Is

Jesus!

Morning of January 6, 2009

Just a note before I get started: I don't take any drugs (legal or illegal) and I quit drinking before I was legal so these experiences were experienced while stone cold sober.

So, I had an experience this morning that doesn't happen to me every day, in fact, it's happened only one other time. In December of 2006, I abruptly woke up from a dream at around six a.m. or so (still dark outside) and sensed somebody was in the house, (I live alone.) As I put my head up, I looked out to my living room and saw some ghostly looking being in a white robe slightly bowing down at my couch. She had the hood of the robe up on her head so I couldn't see her face, but sensed she was Indian with dark skin complexion. She was a very peaceful, loving presence but that still didn't stop me from being freaked out. Then she turned, and walked slowly to the other side of the living room, heading towards the front door. Now, granted, I was not fully awake when it happened, but I was awake enough to put my head up. And I was freakin' out (in my mind) like, 'who the hell is that in my house?!" But I was like 'frozen' - I couldn't do anything about it. So as she was going through the door, I kind of like closed my eyes and shook my head real quick, then when I reopened, she was gone. So I kind of felt like I made it all up, but I know I didn't. Although, anyone who studies A Course in Miracles knows that anything that occurs in the illusion of time and space is all made up anyway, a dream. As Pursah says on page 245 in Disappearance in regards to what most people refer to as life, 'All your lifetimes have been just one big, gigantic mind trip going nowhere!'

So this morning, I was dreaming that I was at an old buddy's house from high school (totally unrelated to the story) and again I abruptly woke up, around the same time, as I sensed a presence. But this time, it took place in my bedroom. As I lifted my head up, I see Jesus standing at the end of my bed, who I affectionately refer to as 'J-Dog.' He turned to the side and started walking towards the right, and then went through the wall. He had short brown/reddish hair and a beard, and a big ear, not like Dumbo, but bigger than the average size ear. Now that doesn't match my picture I have of him hanging on my wall, but that was definitely his presence. He had a smile like he was laughing, except I didn't hear any sound. Also, perhaps you've seen the movie The Abyss with Ed Harris, when he goes to the bottom of the ocean, he encounters these 'water beings.' Well, J-Dog was kind of like that but in a ghostly kind of way. But this time, I was perfectly calm. It didn't scare the crap out of me like the previous experience. Admittedly, had I been fully awake I may not have been so calm - I guess I'll find out if that ever happens to me in a fully awakened state. The whole thing lasted only about five seconds, my other experience was more like ten to fifteen seconds. Actually, I was so nonchalant about this experience that I didn't even call my mom to tell her about it until the afternoon. But when I did tell her, it gave her the chills - especially since knowing that I've been heavily into Jesus' Course for almost two years now, and here he is appearing to me.

Note: On page 105 in YIR, Gary kiddingly refers to Jesus as J-Dog. So that's where I got J-Dog from. I dig it!

So what does this all mean? Beats the hell out of me! I know for one thing, it doesn't make me special. Only God is real, and anything that appears in the universe of time and space is just metaphor, or a symbol. So, nobody here that's walked the earth, or anywhere else in the universe for that matter, is special; including Jesus himself, who's the first to tell you that in his Course. But I figured I'd write about it anyway for journalling, as well as for entertainment purposes.

So later on in the day, while trying to finish my sixth reading of Your Immortal Reality, on page 205, Pursah quotes Jesus from the Course, "When I said 'I am with you always,' I meant it literally. I am not absent to anyone in any situation. Because I am always with you, you are the way, the truth and the life." When I read that today, I was kind of like, 'whoa, no shit!'

So does this mean I'm enlightened? Uh, no. I've still got issues. But I'd like to think that J-Dog appearing to me is a symbol of me getting much closer to that state. But I can't explain why I was so frightened the first time, and so calm about the experience this time. Perhaps I've healed enough of the mind through the true forgiveness practice outlined in the Course and in Gary's books that I've become less fearful. And that is the goal of the Course, to remove the walls of guilt buried deep in the subconscious mind that causes all fears to be there in the first place, so you become fearless like J-Dog, and that is what true spirituality is all about. Giddy up!

Update 1-14-09: No, J-Dog did not appear to me again, damn it! But I had forgotten another detail which I believe is common place for people who have such experiences. I left had left out that this ghostly Jesus figure was transparent. In other words, I was able to see the wall behind Him. So, I just wanted to add that as part of my blog here.

On another note, my mom suggested that J-Dog appeared to me with a big ear to inform me that he hears me when I speak to Him - I'm down with that idea! Thank you J!


Update 1-24-09: My mom spotted this picture somewhere on Photobucket the other day. It's quite eerily similar to the face I saw. Throw on a smile and a laugh, and take off the suit and tie, and you've got a look at the J-Dog I saw that morning. Pretty freakin cool!

Taking Responsibility for Dreaming

There are no victims in this world

So, I’m currently reading Gary’s second book, Your Immortal Reality, for the sixth time, and there’s a section in there that really hit home for me while reading it last week. Now, of course, I already knew this, but that’s why repetition is so very important, and necessary, when it comes to hearing right minded ideas. As you hear these ideas over and over again, they sink in on an even deeper level.

So in chapter four of YIR, Murders Without Corpses, Gary talks about how the founder of one of the most recognized organizations within the Course community, Miracle Distribution Center aka MDC, ‘screwed’ over his critically acclaimed book, The Disappearance of the Universe, saying that they refused to carry it despite its popularity amongst Course students.

Note: According to the Miracle Distribution Center website, the names of the founders of MDC are Richard and Beverly Hutchison. Neither name was mentioned in Gary’s book, however, a woman was referenced.

So Gary went on bitching and moaning to Arten and Pursah about this woman, saying that she could at least carry the book without having to promote it. Gary also went on to say that MDC not carrying Disappearance was 'a public smack in the face.' That’s what I love about Gary, he just puts himself out there as being human, not anything special, nor presenting himself to be more ‘evolved’ than the rest of us - at least I’ve never gotten that impression. He’s just going through the same forgiveness process like the rest of us. And like the rest of us, he’s not perfect about doing it all the time. I have a great appreciation for his authenticity. I mean, Gary could have edited this part out of the book, among other things that showed he wasn’t perfect in practicing the Course, but I don’t think his books would have had the same impact. Arten and Pursah knew what they were doing when they chose him to appear to. If A&P appeared to someone who was practically enlightened already, not many of us would be able to relate. With Gary, it’s as if we are walking in his shoes in a sense. So A&P chose some typical wise-guy that we can all relate to, a regular guy that digs women, music, sports, and beer (not necessarily in that order) which helps put the reader in the mind-set of, ‘Hey, if this clown can do this forgiveness gig, so can I.’

As a side note, this past summer I sent an email to MDC suggesting they carry Gary’s books and CDs, and asking them why they didn’t. I mean, they carry Marianne Williamson’s A Return To Love, a book that is allegedly based on A Course in Miracles, but it’s quite obvious just in the introduction part of the book alone that she doesn’t really get it. Now, I’m not suggesting that her work cannot be very beneficial to people in some way. In fact, I know it is, as back in the 90’s I was heavily into Wayne Dyer and the like, who speak on pretty much the same level as Marianne, and they were very helpful to me at the time. So I certainly wouldn’t knock Marianne, nor knock anyone who is into her stuff. With that said, however, her work shouldn’t be confused with the uncompromising message of A Course in Miracles, because as Arten puts it, ‘….once you have compromise, you no longer have the truth,’ (DU p 18.) Marianne’s work is about fixing up your life, while the real message of A Course in Miracles is about waking up from what you think is your life - as Arten would say, ‘That’s not just a minor distinction.’ Not that there is anything wrong with trying to fix up your life, but that is not the focus of the Course, although it can be a fringe benefit; and Mikey is down with fringe benefits!

So anyway, I got a response to my email from MDC saying one of the reasons why they don’t carry Disappearance is because of an article written by a Greg Mackie a couple years ago, who had some unflattering things to say about Gary and his experiences. They didn’t give me any other reasons as to why, and I find it a tad askew that some Course people will be quick to question Gary about his experiences, yet, accept the fact the Course came from Jesus himself! But I just left it at that. I’m here only to be truly helpful, so trying to convince people of something they are not ready for, is not a good use of my time, and a waste of the other person’s time as well. So I didn’t respond to the email. My personal opinion is that people just look for ways (both consciously and unconsciously) to avoid and resist the truth, which you can’t run away from in Gary’s books, as Arten and Pursah’s message is so blunt! But there’s no shame in that - some people are in elementary school, junior high, high school, college, and so forth; it doesn’t make one person better than any other - you are, where you are. Not every one is ready for this stuff, so as Jack Nicholson says to Tom Cruise in the movie A Few Good Men, ‘You can’t handle the truth!’ Oh, I have to mention this too since I’ve always been a big Seinfeld junkie - George Costanza does an impersonation of Jack Nicholson using that same quote in the classic Marine Biologist episode where Georgie Boy saves a whale by pulling out a golf ball from the whale’s blow-hole, a Titleist golf ball that Kramer had hit into the ocean. Anyway, there will come a time when everybody will be able to handle the truth!



Ok, so now trying to get back to my original point. What I also love about Gary’s books is that Arten and Pursah are right there to correct Gary whenever he goes off course. When Gary forgets to do his forgiveness homework, A&P are right there to put everything in proper perspective. We are all still human, and sometimes we feel a need to vent before we do the forgiveness work. And Gary is no exception. I think he is a representation of each of us, so when Arten and Pursah are gently, or not so gently, reminding him of what needs to be done, they are also reminding us to practice forgiveness on the things that push our buttons and piss us off on any given day. Although, as my old man used to say me, ‘It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on!’

Now getting back to Gary’s grievance with the founder of MDC, Pursah goes on to explain to Gary how people orbit each other, much like how planets orbit the sun. And that Gary knew this woman in previous lifetimes, and that they were even married once, including one lifetime where, according to Pursah, Gary had killed her; so they had some unfinished business. So we all get an equal share of playing the role of victim and victimizer throughout all our lifetimes, and sometimes even within our own lifetimes. So this woman had an unconscious grievance towards Gary the minute she saw his book. So in this example, Gary is the ‘victim’ in this lifetime. Now here’s the part that really hit home for me, after reading this again, it just sunk in at a deeper level, so much so that I was thinking of this quote in my dream while asleep the other night, (I love it when that happens!) So as Pursah so eloquently put it to Gary, ‘The question is, what are you going to use it for this time, freedom or bondage? Are you going to get that you are not a victim and take responsibility for dreaming, or are you going to make it real and stay stuck here?

So, there’s no excuse for not doing the forgiveness work, as it is only our own freedom and peace of mind being delayed by not doing it. But as the saying goes, ‘It’s simple but not easy.’ But I can see why Gary would be irritated by this experience he had with that woman, and would be tempted to go on whining about it all. And on the level of form, he is certainly right. But as the Course asks you, ‘Do you prefer you be right or happy?’ The trick is not to let the ego rule you, and not allow yourself to get sucked into all this crap, and most of all, to remember what it is all for – forgiveness of the ego’s script. And remembering is the hardest part. Another reason why repetition in hearing right-minded ideas is so necessary is that it becomes more easily accessible when the shit hits the fan!

I remember back in my days as a smart-ass teenager, my mom once asked me that same rhetorical question, would I’d rather be happy or be right, and my response was, ‘Well, I’m happy when I’m right, damn it!’ Of course, as a student of the Course, I now know all being right will do is keep me stuck in illusions, but it can certainly still be a temptation at times.

So, on a personal note before I close, I’ll be attending the ACIM conference in San Francisco that’s taking place the weekend of February 28 – March 1. Gary will be among many others speaking there. I hope to have another post to my blog up before that, but if not, my next post may very well be about my experience at the conference. Also, I still want to get my catholic school story up on here at some point this year, just for a change of pace and a fun read that has nothing to do with Gary’s books or ACIM.

So, I wanted to wrap up this post with the definitive statements from the Course mentioned in the same chapter as Gary’s forgiveness lesson with MDC. Pursah says a definitive statement is an idea in the Course that is so clear it defines what the Course is teaching, and it encapsulates what the Course is saying. So here are a few mentioned:

There is no world! This is the central thought the Course attempts to teach. Pursah follows up this quote with this: If there is no world, then there’s nothing to forgive, and recognizing that fact in the events, situations, and people you see is advanced forgiveness, because now you’re not forgiving other people for something they’ve really done, you’re recognizing that they haven’t really done anything. So you’re actually forgiving yourself for dreaming them. That distinction is vital. Without it, you’re doing the old-fashioned kind of forgiveness, which can’t undo the ego.

Anger is never justified. Arten says that if you made the whole thing up, then who is there to be angry at? And a related idea; The secret of salvation is but this: that you are doing this unto yourself. Arten goes on to say that these two ideas fit together like a hand in a glove, and once you really get them, then there’s no getting away from them.

The world you see is an illusion of a world. God did not create it, for what He creates must be eternal as Himself. Yet there is nothing in the world you see that will endure forever.

So Happy freakin’ New Year everybody! And here’s the mutha of all definitive statements to close this puppy out:

God Is