Jesus!

Morning of January 6, 2009

Just a note before I get started: I don't take any drugs (legal or illegal) and I quit drinking before I was legal so these experiences were experienced while stone cold sober.

So, I had an experience this morning that doesn't happen to me every day, in fact, it's happened only one other time. In December of 2006, I abruptly woke up from a dream at around six a.m. or so (still dark outside) and sensed somebody was in the house, (I live alone.) As I put my head up, I looked out to my living room and saw some ghostly looking being in a white robe slightly bowing down at my couch. She had the hood of the robe up on her head so I couldn't see her face, but sensed she was Indian with dark skin complexion. She was a very peaceful, loving presence but that still didn't stop me from being freaked out. Then she turned, and walked slowly to the other side of the living room, heading towards the front door. Now, granted, I was not fully awake when it happened, but I was awake enough to put my head up. And I was freakin' out (in my mind) like, 'who the hell is that in my house?!" But I was like 'frozen' - I couldn't do anything about it. So as she was going through the door, I kind of like closed my eyes and shook my head real quick, then when I reopened, she was gone. So I kind of felt like I made it all up, but I know I didn't. Although, anyone who studies A Course in Miracles knows that anything that occurs in the illusion of time and space is all made up anyway, a dream. As Pursah says on page 245 in Disappearance in regards to what most people refer to as life, 'All your lifetimes have been just one big, gigantic mind trip going nowhere!'

So this morning, I was dreaming that I was at an old buddy's house from high school (totally unrelated to the story) and again I abruptly woke up, around the same time, as I sensed a presence. But this time, it took place in my bedroom. As I lifted my head up, I see Jesus standing at the end of my bed, who I affectionately refer to as 'J-Dog.' He turned to the side and started walking towards the right, and then went through the wall. He had short brown/reddish hair and a beard, and a big ear, not like Dumbo, but bigger than the average size ear. Now that doesn't match my picture I have of him hanging on my wall, but that was definitely his presence. He had a smile like he was laughing, except I didn't hear any sound. Also, perhaps you've seen the movie The Abyss with Ed Harris, when he goes to the bottom of the ocean, he encounters these 'water beings.' Well, J-Dog was kind of like that but in a ghostly kind of way. But this time, I was perfectly calm. It didn't scare the crap out of me like the previous experience. Admittedly, had I been fully awake I may not have been so calm - I guess I'll find out if that ever happens to me in a fully awakened state. The whole thing lasted only about five seconds, my other experience was more like ten to fifteen seconds. Actually, I was so nonchalant about this experience that I didn't even call my mom to tell her about it until the afternoon. But when I did tell her, it gave her the chills - especially since knowing that I've been heavily into Jesus' Course for almost two years now, and here he is appearing to me.

Note: On page 105 in YIR, Gary kiddingly refers to Jesus as J-Dog. So that's where I got J-Dog from. I dig it!

So what does this all mean? Beats the hell out of me! I know for one thing, it doesn't make me special. Only God is real, and anything that appears in the universe of time and space is just metaphor, or a symbol. So, nobody here that's walked the earth, or anywhere else in the universe for that matter, is special; including Jesus himself, who's the first to tell you that in his Course. But I figured I'd write about it anyway for journalling, as well as for entertainment purposes.

So later on in the day, while trying to finish my sixth reading of Your Immortal Reality, on page 205, Pursah quotes Jesus from the Course, "When I said 'I am with you always,' I meant it literally. I am not absent to anyone in any situation. Because I am always with you, you are the way, the truth and the life." When I read that today, I was kind of like, 'whoa, no shit!'

So does this mean I'm enlightened? Uh, no. I've still got issues. But I'd like to think that J-Dog appearing to me is a symbol of me getting much closer to that state. But I can't explain why I was so frightened the first time, and so calm about the experience this time. Perhaps I've healed enough of the mind through the true forgiveness practice outlined in the Course and in Gary's books that I've become less fearful. And that is the goal of the Course, to remove the walls of guilt buried deep in the subconscious mind that causes all fears to be there in the first place, so you become fearless like J-Dog, and that is what true spirituality is all about. Giddy up!

Update 1-14-09: No, J-Dog did not appear to me again, damn it! But I had forgotten another detail which I believe is common place for people who have such experiences. I left had left out that this ghostly Jesus figure was transparent. In other words, I was able to see the wall behind Him. So, I just wanted to add that as part of my blog here.

On another note, my mom suggested that J-Dog appeared to me with a big ear to inform me that he hears me when I speak to Him - I'm down with that idea! Thank you J!


Update 1-24-09: My mom spotted this picture somewhere on Photobucket the other day. It's quite eerily similar to the face I saw. Throw on a smile and a laugh, and take off the suit and tie, and you've got a look at the J-Dog I saw that morning. Pretty freakin cool!