Dude, Where's My Jesus Fish?

Here are excerpts from the Introduction piece of my soon to be released book, called, Dude, Where's My Jesus Fish? You can place a pre-order for one at my website: www.giddyupmikey.com

You can also check out the chapter titles and testimonials on my website or by scrolling down to my post on this blog from October 25th.




Excerpts from The Introduction to Dude, Where's My Jesus Fish?

Gary’s first two books are written in a dialogue format. Gary is the student, while his teachers, who are two ascended masters that go by the names of Arten and Pursah, were two of Jesus’ disciples two thousand years ago, Thaddaeus and Thomas, respectively. They refer to Jesus as J, as they did not know him as Jesus, but rather as Y’shua, and they say that a proper translation into Greek then into English would have been Jeshua, so they simply refer to him as J in order to cover both Jesus and Jeshua.1

Arten and Pursah promise in the first chapter of the spiritual masterpiece, The Disappearance of the Universe, that they will supply all the answers to life’s biggest questions: ‘You will find out what you really are; how you got here; exactly why you and all other people behave and feel the way that you do; why the universe keeps repeating the same patterns over and over again; why people get sick; the reason behind all failure, accidents, addictions, poverty, and natural disasters; the real cause of all of the violence, crime, war, and terrorism in the world; the only meaningful solution to all of these things; and how to apply it.’2

For those of you who are new to all this, well, to be perfectly blunt, I’m not here to blow sunshine up your ass as I’m not exactly a ‘people pleaser’ or a ‘yes man.’ There are plenty of candy-coated spiritual teachings out there for you to choose from if that’s what you want. I have no investment in people feeling warm and fuzzy about me, and have no political agenda, so, like Gary and his teachers, I’m free to just tell it straight up for those who are ready to hear it. As Pursah tells Gary in Disappearance, ‘People need to be educated, but if you really tell them the truth, then you’re bound to give up some popularity. But it’s better to tell them the truth and have some people walk out on you than to tell them only what they want to hear and have them stay.’3 So, that’s what I’m all about and where I’m coming from.

Anyway, it’s not my intention to be such a hard ass, but I wouldn’t be doing anybody any favors by compromising on Arten and Pursah’s, as well as J’s teachings, and I see the Course the same exact way as they and Gary all do. And Jesus wouldn’t be Jesus if He had compromised on these teachings. I have no interest, or desire, in making up my own thing,4 or incorporating dualistic teachings into the Course and telling people that those teachings are saying the same thing as the Course. I’m a straight shooter so you’re not going to get any bullshit from me, only a sincere desire to be truly helpful.

So, if you’re one who is seeking an intellectual truth, that, when applied, will eventually lead you to an experiential truth, then you’ve come to the right place. The message in Gary’s books is designed to help you save time, so I’m just passing along the message while reinforcing it for myself.

For all the newbies, now may be a good time for you to burn this book or run it through a shredder, or better yet, donate it to your local library or resell it on Amazon, because you don’t know what the hell you’re going to be getting yourself into here. This isn’t ‘fast food spirituality’5 as this particular spiritual path separates the men from the boys – metaphorically speaking, of course. For those of you who have already set foot on this spiritual path, well, there’s no turning back now!

Now, without further ado, here is a revised version of an article I wrote for my local newspaper, the Ashland Daily Tidings. It was printed in the March 7, 2009 edition. It explains what The Disappearance of the Universe is all about:

Of all the books I’ve read during my many years of feasting in the ‘spiritual buffet line,’6 nothing has explained the truth about God and our existence, and why we are seemingly here, any clearer to me than Gary Renard’s The Disappearance of the Universe.

Disappearance addresses heavy subject matter, while cutting to the chase in no uncertain terms, and doing so in a very entertaining and humorous fashion. I highly recommend it, though it is not intended for the squeamish7 nor the faint of heart, as the material is not sugarcoated.

Forgiveness is the theme of the spiritual path presented in Disappearance. Gary’s teachers tell us, ‘Forgiveness is where the rubber meets the road. Without forgiveness, metaphysics are useless.’8 Of course, they are talking about forgiveness in the quantum sense, rather than what traditionally passes as forgiveness in this world. As Gary’s teachers say, ‘The kind of forgiveness J used, and that his Course is teaching, is not the same kind of forgiveness that Christianity and the world sometimes participate in. If it were, then it would be a waste of time.’9

Disappearance is the unofficial ‘cliff notes’ to A Course in Miracles – or as Gary would call it, ‘street language’10 for the Course. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual, purely non-dualistic, self-study course, which is often referred to in Disappearance. The Course is over thirteen hundred pages long, and consists of the Text, Workbook for Students, Manual for Teachers, and the most recent edition includes two pamphlets called Psychotherapy: Purpose, Process and Practice and The Song of Prayer.

Written in Shakespearean blank verse and loaded with subtly humorous rhetorical questions, while being holographic in nature,11 the Course is Jesus’ teachings the way, I believe, they were intended to be – consistent and uncompromising, all about love and forgiveness, and absolutely nothing to do with sin, fear, guilt, sacrifice, and showing up to church on Sunday. As Gary’s teachers put it, ‘The Course is Jesus speaking as an artist correcting the Bible.’12 And as J states in his Course, ‘Those who seek controversy will find it. Yet those who seek clarification will find it as well.’13

The Course is all about the healing of the subconscious mind, which entails looking at your illusions, examining them, and eventually releasing them through the process of true forgiveness. As it states in the Course, ‘No one can escape from illusions unless he looks at them, for not looking is the way they are protected.’14

The Course gives you the practical tools necessary in order to attain the objective of lasting inner peace and happiness, and ultimately enlightenment, regardless of what is going on in the world and with your own personal life’s circumstances. Through the application of true, or quantum forgiveness, you’re taking full responsibility for your life’s experiences, including the experiences that are not seemingly your fault, because on the level of the unconscious mind, you made it all up.

With quantum forgiveness, you’re not forgiving people because they really did something – you’re forgiving them because they haven’t really done anything. Whatever pushes your buttons and pisses you off on any given day is symbolic of what’s in your own unconscious mind. Once you really get that the world is not being done to you, but rather by you, then what you are really doing by practicing true forgiveness is forgiving the symbolic contents of your own mind. So nobody is ever really a victim in this world. As the Course puts it, ‘I am not the victim of the world I see.’15 Indeed, you are the maker of it – not always easy to accept, but it is definitely the truth. As Gary’s teachers ask, ‘Are you going to get that you’re not a victim and take responsibility for dreaming, or are you going to make it real and stay stuck here?’16 And as J states in the Course, ‘Beware of the temptation to perceive yourself unfairly treated.’17

This isn’t the most glamorous of spiritual paths, because it’s not about manifesting stuff; it’s about undoing the muck buried in the subconscious mind. So it’s not always pretty, dressed up with lipstick and powder, however, it does have teeth. As Gary’s teachers say, ‘The most striking evidence of this approach’s validity will be that it works.’18 And as the Course states, ‘No one who learns from experience that one choice brings peace and joy while another brings chaos and disaster needs additional convincing.’19 From my experience, I can assure you that true forgiveness does in fact work. It does, however, take practice to develop faith and trust in it, but once you start experiencing the benefits of doing this work, it encourages and inspires you to keep going, and eventually it does become easier.

Though the Course is presented in Christian terminology, it is very Eastern-like in its theology and practice, as it gets in touch with the power of the mind. I don’t recommend taking it on without having read Disappearance first, as it will save you much time while helping you to really grasp the heart of the Course.

All spiritual paths lead to God in the end,20 however, the Course does imply that this is a faster way. The Course is simple, however, it’s not easy, as we all have this thing called the ego, and it would much rather you be right, than be happy and at peace. And as J asks us in the Course, ‘Do you prefer that you be right or happy?’21

This path isn’t about fixing up your life, it’s about waking up from what you think is your life,22 and as Gary’s teachers would add to that, ‘…that’s not just a minor distinction.’23 Although it’s not about fixing up your life, it can, however, be a fringe benefit24 – and Mikey’s down with fringe benefits! Anyway, sticking to this path requires faith, trust, discipline, patience, vigilance, perseverance, as well as the willingness to question every motive that you have and every value that you hold,25 the ability to be objective with yourself, and the determination to face all of your fears. Oh, and did I mention faith and trust? Anyway, as Gary’s teachers put it, ‘Comfort is the goal, not necessarily the means.’26 With all that said, however, it’s not about giving anything up, as J puts it in the Course, ‘This course does not attempt to take from you the little that you have.’27 So, it’s really about letting go of your psychological attachment to it all, as well as forgetting not to laugh.

What Jesus was Really Like

An Excerpt from chapter 2 of Gary Renard’s The Disappearance of the Universe - Pursah speaks as her lifetime as Jesus' disciple Thomas; Arten as Thaddaeus

Pursah: J never cursed a tree and killed it, never got angry and knocked over the tables in the temple, but he did heal a few people who were already dead. Also, his body died on the cross, but he did not suffer as you would imagine. As for his way of being, mere words cannot do him justice. To be in his presence was an experience so unique it gave you a feeling of wonder. His peace and unalterable love were so total that sometimes people couldn't stand it and they had to look away. His attitude was so calm and sure it made you want to know how he did it. Those of us who spent a lot of time with him and, as in my case, got to speak in private with him, were inspired by his complete faith in God.

One of the ironic things - and this is something people don't understand - was that he considered himself to be totally dependent on God, yet this dependence was not weakness, as the world usually views dependence. Rather, the result was a state of unbelievable psychological strength. Things that would scare the stuffing out of strong people meant nothing to him, because they were nothing to him. Fear was not a part of him. His attitude was the same as if you were having a dream last night asleep in your bed, except you were totally aware of the fact that you were dreaming. And because you knew you were dreaming, you also knew that absolutely nothing in the dream could possibly hurt you, because none of it was true; you realized you were merely observing symbolic images, including people, who weren't really there.

J used to tell me when we were alone that the world was just an insignificant dream, but most people weren't ready to accept such an idea because their contrary experience was so strong. He then stressed that knowing the world is an illusion is not enough. The Gnostics and some early Christians called the world a dream; the Hindus call it maya and the Buddhists call it anicca, all meaning pretty much the same thing. But if you don't know the purpose of the dream and how to reinterpret the images you are seeing, then the general teaching that the world is an illusion is of very limited value. However, he also said the time would come when the Holy Spirit would teach people all things and that everyone would know only God is real. Sometimes at the end of a conversation with me he would just say, "God is," and walk away.

One of the other things about him that's rarely mentioned is that he had an excellent sense of humor. He was quite irreverent. He liked to laugh and bring out the joy in others.

Gary: And he was totally awake?

Arten: Yes, but let's be very clear about what we mean by that. We're not saying he was more awake in the dream, we're saying he had awakened from the dream. That's not just a minor distinction. Indeed, being more seemingly awake in the dream is what passes for enlightenment among very many, but that's not what we're teaching. You can teach a dog to be more alert and impressive and to live its so-called life to the fullest, and almost any human can be taught to raise his consciousness. You can always be taught to approach the dream with a clever thought pattern in an attempt to bring about something more, different or better. But our brother J was completely outside of the dream. He wasn't advocating a way of making your delusion better, or telling you how to strive for self-expression so you won't die with an unmet potential. Such exercises may temporarily make you feel better, but you're still building your house upon the sand.

J wouldn't be opposed to making your life better, but he would be more concerned with your Source of guidance that he would be about the guidance itself, because he knew the tremendous long-term benefits that being a true follower of the Holy Spirit could have for your mind. The real goal isn't dressing up you life; it's about awakening from what you think is your life! Then you're building your house upon the rock. J's message isn't about fixing up the world. When your body appears to die, what are you going to do with what you believe is the world? As far as the world is concerned, you can dress it up, but you can't take it anywhere.